College Dream vs. Parents?

I've wanted to go to ivy league since 6th grade (esp Princeton), and I 've been thinking about college for as long as I can remember. My mom has always known this but now that I'm 2 years away from college she's very upset by my college preferences. She thinks I wanna go just for the schools' prestige. She asks me why I want to go, and I really can't give her a straight answer, but its in my heart. What do I do, because she suddenly decided she doesn't want what i want, and, like most parents, mine are paying for tuition. I know ivy league is a lot, but my older brother and sister never went to college like expected, so really they have caught a tuition break.... Any advice or comments from a third party with no emotional involvement in this would be nice. Thanks!!!

College Dream vs. Parents?
Well, the first thing I should say is, Ivy League schools do not cost any more than other private schools do.





Yes, they do cost more than in-state tuition at your own state's university. But they don't cost more than other private schools.





Since you mention Princeton, you should be aware that Princeton, Harvard, and Yale in particular have very generous financial aid programs, because (1) these schools are very rich and (2) these schools are always fighting with each other to attract the best students, and generous financial aid is one way to compete.





So, if your parents are middle-class, and you can get into Princeton, it would probably be cheaper for you to go to Princeton (after getting financial aid grants) than to go to another private school--say, NYU. It probably won't be cheaper than the in-state tuition at Rutgers or SUNY, but it might well be cheaper than the out-of-state tuition at public schools as well.





But, if your parents are really rich ($200K+ household income salary), you probably won't get very much financial aid, and your parents would be paying as much for you to go to Princeton than to go to NYU--not MORE than NYU, but as much as as. And it would be more than going to your own state's university for in-state tuition.





So, now that I've addressed the money issue, it sounds like you also have concerns about why you want to go to Princeton and/or another Ivy. You do need to ask yourself why you want to do this. Prestige is a legitimate reason, but it should not be your only reason to choose a school.





Look at the website and brochures for Princeton and the other Ivies, considering factors like (1) school size (2) geography (3) availability of your desired major(s) (4) clubs/extracurricular opportunities available (5) personal feeling of "fit." Then look at the websites and brochures for some other schools, and see if Princeton actually stands out to you. If so, identify WHAT factors (other than prestige) you like about Princeton and/or the other Ivies.





If you can identify specific, concrete things you like, you can tell your mother about them the next time she asks, and it won't seem as much like you're obsessed with prestige.





And if prestige is a factor--there is also a practical spin to it. Going to a well-respected school can help you get a high-paying job or get into a good grad school. Assuming you get good grades. So, there is a practical reason for going ot an Ivy as well--not for the "prestige" per se, but for the job opportunities and the salary that the school's reputation will buy you.





For me, I attended college at Yale and am now in law school at Harvard. My dad was initially p!ssed when I wanted to go to an Ivy, but when I applied for financial aid and showed him that it was actually cheaper for me to go to Yale (after financial aid grants) than to go to a good state school like Berkeley or UCLA, he said that it was OK for me to go to Yale. And now he's proud of me for doing it because he likes to show off to his friends. (The showing off, I think, is obnoxious. But he did pay a lot of my college tuition bill, so maybe he deserves to "get his money's worth" in his own eyes.)





So, that's my answer to your decision/choice question. If you want advice on how to GET IN to an Ivy, you can take a look at these other related questions on Yahoo Answers:





http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...


http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...


http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...
Reply:Your mother really isn't being unreasonable to ask you WHY you want this. If she is contemplating having to pay potentially twice as much as she would have to pay for you to go elsewhere, she needs to understand that this is more than just some kind of a fantasy for you. That's where you come in. You really need to sit down and write out exactly why you DO want to go there. Is there something in particular there that you like, or is it that the sound of the words "Princeton" and "Ivy League" appeal to you? I wouldn't want to pay an additional $80,000 or so for that reason either. She hasn't said no; she just wants to make sure that if you make that your goal, you do so for realistic purposes.





Is there a specific subject matter that you want to study that you can best study there? Is it that you really want NOT to be the smartest person in the class for a change? Is it because you think there will be some special opportunities available to you there that are not available to you elsewhere? Have you been to Princeton and fallen in love with the campus?
Reply:I work near Princeton University. I know a lot of graduates and some professors. It all depends what you want to study, and in certain areas Princeton is No. 1 or 2 in the field. A Princeton degree gets you noticed by top employers. But you need super good grades and SAT scores to get in. If you have that, they will make sure you can afford to attend and give you scholarships and grants. So follow your dreams and good luck!
Reply:Always stick with what you want in your heart, and follow your dreams. If this is what makes you happy, then why not go for it? You should also apply to a couple other universities that are easier to get into, and if/when you get into one of your dream schools, then your parents will know that you belong there, and they will respect your decision.
Reply:For the love of God, man... DO the research! If you can get into an Ivy League school, then you would be far better off. (If not, EVERYONE would be going to them!)





Send away for pamphlits and brochures, get your teachers involved. Odds are, if your grades are well enough to get into one of these schools, you will be eligable for a scholership and tuition assistance.





I live in NY, but my wife and I drive straight through Princton on our way to PA for the big Wizerd World Convention in Philly. It is a beautiful college!





So get a move on, and show your mom you are dead serios! Good Luck!
Reply:If it's your dream, you should really tell her, and go for it! Being able to get into Princeton is a great accomplishment, and she should be proud of you for it. And she probably will be if you get in. Fill out an application, and once she sees that you got in, she can't deny. It's a prestigious school, and you've worked hard for it. Good luck.
Reply:First of all, how do you even know if you'll get into Princeton? They reject over 90% of their applicants!





So we can't assume you'll even get in until you provide us information which may allow us to think otherwise.





In response to your question, I would say.. follow your dreams, but have backups when they fail. In other words, have some safety schools.
Reply:First, it seems that you pick the school because they are "prestige" school rather than picking a school base on career choice. However, I'm not trying to change your mind. There are plenty of schools out there that are not IVY league. First, its good to have a top knotch school that you want, and aim for it. However, do keep in mind that there are thousands of others competiting with you, so you have to be outstanding. Maintain a 3.6+ unweighted gpa, join plenty of clubs at schools, volunteer at your community's hospital, animal shelter, etc, and helpout at your school. Be a leader of a club, etc. Have good recommendation, great essay, have very high SAT/ACT. SAT around 2000s, ACT around 30s. That will keep you above the norm. Also, yes it is very hard to get accepted and the tuition can be $50,000 a year for some like Princeton, Yale, Harvard, etc. However, there are loans, and grants, but you really don't want to be in debt when you're barely 20 years old once you're out. Save money for graduate school. There first 4 years undergrad isn't really that important, and as long as you go to an accredited college, maintain the grades, you can apply and get into a great graduated college. So, follow your heart, but be wise, have other options other than the "prestige" school, and going to a state school is still great. Some that aren't ivy are UCLA, Wash U, Duke, Emory, etc. Good luck
Reply:There has to be some giving and taking here. In the end your mom will b happy that you went out and got agood education unlike your brother and sister. And yes 50k peope apply and only 5k are accepted so until your a genius or a minority that is borderline genius than you better keep all your opions open instead of banking solely on one school. Good Luck!