As a child, growing up around animals my whole life I have always had an interest in them. Ever since I can remember whenever someone asked, "What do you want to be when you grow up?", my answer was always----a veterinarian. I never had to think about my answer it was automatic.
One beautiful summer day, what started off as a routine check-up at the vet for my pekingese, Snowball ended in a nightmare. The veterinarian talked with my parents in private, and they came back with some bad news; my dog was dying and needed to be euthanized. She had cancer and her stomach was full of tumors that could not be removed. They gave her about two weeks to live, but she would be in pain until she eventually died. I was devastated. I did not know what to do or what to think so I cried. I did not want her to be in pain but I was not ready to let her go either. I decided the best decision would be to euthanize her. That moment made me realize that being a veterinarian was more than something I thought I wanted to do, it was something I wanted to do.
Its been five years since we had to put her down. I still miss my dog and wish she was still her, but I know I made the right decision. That day changed me, now every time I take my four dogs to the vet I always think, "Is this the last time I am going to see them?" It is funny how one experience can change your whole outlook on things. I have faith in my veterinarian, Dr. Richardson, and his ability to take care of my pets to the best of his ability and knowledge, but I still find myself thinking about that day five years ago whenever it is time to go to the vet.
I want to be more than just an ordinary veterinarian I want to be the best veterinarian that I can be. I am a very ambitious person and when I set my mind to something I do whatever it takes to get the job done no matter how many times I have to try I try until I succeed. When I see myself I see a strong, confident, and hard-working young woman with dreams and ambitions. There are two sides to me like there are two sides to a coin. On one side I am the shy, quiet listener, and on the other side I am this loud, random person who does not know when to shut up. While I am in class I am the shy, quiet listener and that is how most of my classmates know me, but once school is over I turn into someone else like, Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. I keep these two sides of myself separated from each other so my main focus during school can be my studies, and not what is going on that night.
When deciding on a college one of the most important decisions to make is, "do you want a small or a large college?" I have plenty of time to experience a large university, but I feel that since I am going to be new to the college scene a smaller college would be a great place to start and that is why Hiram is on the top of my list to do my undergraduate studies. I have been to Kent State University and John Carroll University and have scene the sizes of the lecture halls and classrooms which seem a little intimidating for someone like me who is just starting out. At Hiram you get smaller classroom sizes and hands-on learning that I especially like. I had an opportunity to sit in on a lecture at John Carroll University on the advances of stem cell research last year. I found the lecture very enlightening, but I could not help but to think, "I wish there were less people here." With all the people in the room there was only time for a few questions here and there but never enough time to really stop and explain something and make sure everyone understood what was going on, but with a smaller college like Hiram you get that one-on-one time that enables everyone in the class to perform at their best.
No matter what happens in my future I will always have a passion for animals that will never fade. There will always be tough obstacles to overcome but I will persevere and succeed. I will do whatever it takes so instead of telling people, "I want to be a veterinarian" I can tell them, "I am a veterinarian!" I would be honored if I could be apart of Hiram's future and make Hiram apart of mine.
College application essay 2....please be honest about your opinions no matter how brutal they are....thanks?
Growing up around animals, I have always been interested in them. As long as I can remember, when someone would as, "What do you want to be when you grow up?", my answer was always----a veterinarian. I never had to think about my answer, it was automatic.
Then one beautiful summer day, what started off as a routine check-up at the vet for my pekingese, Snowball, ended in a nightmare. The veterinarian was talking with my parents in private, and they came back with some bad news; my dog was dying and needed to be euthanized. Snowball had cancer and her stomach was full of tumors that could not be removed. They gave her about two weeks to live, but explained she would be in pain until she eventually died.
I was devastated. I did not know what to do or what to think so I cried. I did not want her to be in pain but I was not ready to let her go either. I realized the correct decision would be to have her euthanized. At that moment, I realized that being a veterinarian was more than something I thought I wanted to do, it was something I felt I had to do.
It has been almost five years since Snowball was put down. I still miss my dog and wish she was still here, but I know I made the right decision for Snowball. That day changed me, now every time I take my four dogs to the vet I always think, "Is this the last time I am going to see them?" I find it interesting how one experience can change your whole outlook.
I feel that a smaller college like Hiram would be a great place to start my studies as a veterinarian. I have been to Kent State University and John Carroll University and have scene the sizes of the lecture halls and classrooms which seem a little intimidating for someone like me who is just starting out.
At Hiram you get smaller classroom sizes and hands-on learning that I especially like. I had an opportunity to sit in on a lecture at John Carroll University on the advances of stem cell research last year. I found the lecture very enlightening, but with all the people in the room there was only time for a few questions here and there. I value the one-on-one time with professors which Hiram allows for with smaller classroom size.
Regardless of what happens in the future I will always have a passion for animals which will never fade. There will always be tough obstacles to overcome but I will persevere and succeed. I will do whatever it takes so instead of telling people, "I want to be a veterinarian" I can tell them, "I am a veterinarian!" I would be honored if I could be a part of the Hiram educational community.
This still needs a lot of editing. I suggest trying to be more specific.
Reply:This may be kind of mean but you're kind of going on and on. Explain why you're so passionate about this career and what you plan to do when you become one.
Reply:i think you did really good! good luck!
Reply:Its not bad but some of the grammar and wordings are a little confusing.
Also change your first sentence because first the wording is funny and two it doesn't really draw me to the essay.
Also the paragraph about small colleges is kinda placed weird and there's no real transition going from talking about wanting to be a vet to the size of the college.
Try and use some bigger words too.
Other wise the idea and concept are good just needs some fine tweaking.
Good Luck!
Reply:To be honest, this essay goes nowhere and is boring.
Can you think of some other reason for you to become a veterinarian? Sending a pet to be euthanized doesn't exactly make me want to become one and it definately doesn't define your interests. Even writing about talking to zookeepers or watching the discovery channel as a kid might be better.
Why did you write about the "two sides on a coin" thing? How does that make you a good candidate and how does that prove you're ambitious? "On one side I am shy" and "on the other side I am this loud, random person" doesn't say anything about your ambitions.
"have scene the sizes of "- bad grammar error
I think writing about how other colleges are bad is a terrible idea. Also, saying just how "I wish there were less people here" doesn't exactly impress me. Why don't you recall an instance where small classes or discussions really helped you? Besides, "small classes" isn't entirely specific. I could write "I want to go here because you have small classes" to hundreds of different schools. Find out something specific that you like about Hiram.
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